The Can’t Tell Us Nothing Podcast

SEASON 4 EPISODE 42: CRYPTO US NOTHING W BENJI

Benji is the Executive Director of @ComedySportz Houston. He started as a member of the CSz High School League in 2004 and has been improvising, acting and singing since then. In addition to ComedySportz, he has produced a number of popular shows in Houston including Beer Babies, Star Warz: Unscripted, and Improv! The Musical. Benji is an avid Houston sports fan, enjoys playing music, and traveling around the world when he’s not busy having the least funny job in Comedy.
Topics:
Texting vs Phone Calls
Crypto Us Nothing
Office Drama
Fire and Water
Scenes:
Bitcoin for Comedy
The Benji Spot
The Neighbor's Firepit
Carol's Fireplace

SEASON 4 EPISODE 41: THE SUNSHINE ACT W RYAN HEINE

Starting at the beginning, Ryan was born in Columbia, Missouri, but grew up in Houston.Ryan began studying improv in 2005 with Houston’s Massive Creativity, led by MacArthur Antigua of Improv Olympic (IO) Chicago, performing at Avant Garden.
In 2006, Ryan moved to Los Angeles where he completed IO West’s Training Program, and performed with “Kick Drum Decade”, a main stage Harold team, 19-time Cagematch Champion, and 2- time winner of the 2008 and 2009 Los Angeles Improv Festival Cagematch Tournament. While in L.A., Ryan was cast in several commercials and web ads including for Cabela’s, Honda, Top Flite (with Kenny Mayne), and Baby Ruth. Notably he performed several voice overs in the animated short, “Meltdown” (with David Cross). From 2009-2011, Ryan co-directed, taught, and performed with Houston’s Rogue Improv (formerly Massive). In recent years, Ryan has coached and performed improv most notably with Baby Knuckle, Corner Office and Damaged Goods at Station Theater and other Houston venues. Additional improv festival performance credits include the Trill Festival (Houston), Out of Bounds Comedy Festival (Austin) and the @Del Close Improv Marathon (NYC).
Separate from improv, Ryan has had a unique and evolving career path. He is a former practicing attorney and is now a sales specialist in pharmaceuticals. He loves dogs, cooking, sports and a lotta other stuff.
Topics:
- The Houston Housing Market
- Ryan's Improv Journey
- Work Job Lunches
- Selling What You Don't Believe
Scenes:
- The Uncertified Lawn Man
- The Sunshine Act
- The Date Night Presentation
- Drug Rep Notes

SEASON 4 EPISODE 40: THE INTIMACY COORDINATOR W HOJA LOPEZ

Hoja Lopez is a Venezuelan comedian, producer, and writer in the Chicago area. This former Houstonian is the co-host of Lemonada Media’s I’m Sorry, a podcast about apologies and creator of Gay News, a monthly satirical web-series focusing on queer stories. She is a graduate of the Annoyance Theater Improv program and recipient of the 2021 DIOversity Scholarship! Hoja is currently performing in Annoyance Theater’s mainstage solo sketch review, directed by Mick Napier.
Follow her on IG and Twitter at @alohahoja
Topics:
- Things to be preachy about
- Kissing in Improv
- PDA
Scenes:
- Church of Calm Down
- The Intimacy Coordinator
- Off-Season Wedding

SEASON 4 EPISODE 39: GOLDEN ROUND-TRIP TICKET TO HEAVEN

Topics:
- Southwest Flight Cancellations
- Stories about Hell
- Cicada Attack
- The Patriot Plus Shot
Scenes:
- Golden Round-Trip Ticket to Heaven
- Unhappy in Heaven
- The Fixed Rate

SEASON 4 EPISODE 38: KYLE THE GYROPRACTOR W NED GAYLE

Topics:
- Ned's Highschool Shirts
- Direct Advertising
- Fast Driving and Skydiving
- The Facebook Whistleblower
Scenes:
- Helpful T-Shirts
- The Grilled Cheese Cult
- Kyle The Gyropractor
- Super Jon and Maybe Jon
- Opinions in Highschool

SEASON 4 EPISODE 37: HUG RAP

Topics:
- Art and Candyman
- How music makes you feel
- The Klan Crypto Coin
- Clothes Banned from the Club
Scenes:
- Hug Rap
- The Hate Fair
- The National Timberlands Association Meeting

SEASON 4 EPISODE 36: THE BEST CART RUNNERS W CHUY

Special Guest: @Estevan J. (Chuy) Zarate
Estevan J. (Chuy) Zarate is an actor/director/coach from San Antonio TX that has been improvising for audiences for 31 years. He is a member of The Big Bash at The Hideout Theatre, The Known Wizards (Merlinworks faculty troupe), Luby' Bingo Hall and more duos than he can count. He teaches all styles and formats being that he has a very eclectic tool belt to reach into. If there is a scenario to be performed in, he has probably performed it. With specialties in improv singing and grounded/character-driven scenework, Chuy has coached hundreds of kids, teens, students and adults for years to multiple successes
Topics:
- Shows about bad people
- School Board Politics
- Working in Retail or Service
- Spotters and Condiments
Scenes:
- Summer Improv Camp Meeting
- Burger King "Assault"
- The Best Cart Runners
- Cardinal Rules of Condiments

SEASON 4 EPISODE 35: TANDI’S STEAK NIGHT

Topics:
- Lightning and Trees
- Jon's got the biggest tree
- Michael K Williams
- Ivermectin
- Jean-Pierre Adams
Scenes:
- Jon's (Dead) Tree
- Tandi's Steak Night
- Safe Harbor