The Can’t Tell Us Nothing Podcast

Fast for Four Days & Get an Improv Show: A CTUN Challenge

The CTUN crew is back with another wild ride through random conversations, absurd reality show pitches, and hot-button current events. With Tandy out this episode (but promising to be on the next one no matter what), the guys dive into some seriously entertaining territory.
The episode kicks off with complaints about Houston's brutal heat—where 95 degrees feels like fall—before transitioning into a deep dive on Chris Hemsworth's Disney+ show Limitless. This sparks a hilarious debate: what extreme physical challenge would they take on? Fasting for four days? Walking a tightrope on a skyscraper? Extreme cold or extreme heat? The consensus? They're proposing #FastFest2025—a four-day fast followed by an improv show and massive buffet. They're dead serious (mostly).
From there, the conversation takes a sharp turn into the world of influencer power and its dangers. The hosts dissect two wild stories: Mr. Beast's Olympic-style video featuring representatives from every country (which became a geopolitical nightmare with flag mix-ups and questionable country representation), and Kai Cenat's PS5 giveaway riot in New York that led to 60 arrests. The discussion gets real about how unchecked influencer power can mobilize thousands with zero accountability—basically modern-day cult leaders with streaming platforms.Then comes the Burning Man saga. The guys riff on the mud-soaked disaster, celebrities fleeing early (Chris Rock, Diplo, Google founders), and why neither of them has any desire to party in the desert. Cue an improv bit about John's dog Heavy mysteriously showing up at Burning Man after a streamer flies 1,000 dogs via parachute to the festival.
Key Topics:
Extreme physical challenges: fasting, cold plunges, and stress controlThe dangers of unchecked influencer power (Mr. Beast & Kai Cenat)Burning Man 2023: mud, celebrities, and chaosImprov: "Fast for Four Days" challenge pitch#FastFest2025 announcement
Airs: First and third Tuesday of each month at 9 PM Central

The One with Toria Jones

CTUN welcomes special guest Toria Jones to the show! Toria shares her journey from Iowa ("Dirty Dodge") to Houston's improv scene, how improv helped her overcome stage fright, and what it's like performing in "these improv streets."
Topics Discussed:
The Anti-Aging Tech Bro: Bryan Johnson spends $2 million a year taking 61 pills daily and eating vegetable mush to reverse his aging process. The crew debates whether he looks like an 18-year-old or more like "Michael Jackson syndrome."
Demonic Possession as a Legal Defense: Can claiming you were "possessed by a demon" get you out of trouble? The team explores famous cases, exorcisms, and whether demonology should be taught in schools. Plus: a deep dive into the movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
Sex in Self-Driving Cars: San Francisco's driverless robo-taxis have become mobile hookup spots. How do you stop people from getting frisky in autonomous vehicles? The crew brainstorms solutions from gospel music to Jesus crosses to highly specific "respect" videos.
R&B Legends & Beef: Did R. Kelly sabotage Joe's career? A discussion about old-school R&B drama and whether Joe and Babyface count as "oldies" now.
Improv Scenes:
The Demonic Possession Defense: Someone tries to use demon possession as an excuse for inappropriate behavior in a robo-taxi
Meet You's Anti-Sex Robo-Taxi PSA: A wholesome warning video that accidentally has the complete opposite effect
The Vampire Date Night: Toria and Vlad take a romantic ride in a robo-taxi with some... unexpected offerings
Join the CTUN crew and Toria for a wild ride through tech obsessions, spiritual excuses, and the future of transportation!

Ghosts, Aliens & AI Relationships

The CTUN crew dives deep into the bizarre and hilarious world of modern absurdity! From aggressive toy commercials and sexual advertising to late-night infomercials that border on the offensive, the team unpacks how media has evolved into increasingly wild territory.
Topics Discussed:
The Woman Who Married a Victorian Ghost: A real story about a woman who married (and divorced) a ghost named Edwar no after he allegedly cheated with Marilyn Monroe's ghost. The crew improvises what the relationship—and breakup—might have looked like.
The Man Who Became a Dog: A Japanese man spent $14,000 on a hyper-realistic Border Collie costume to live out his dream of being a dog. Is this the future of identity, or just peak internet weirdness?
Aliens & Congressional Hearings: Why are we still tiptoeing around alien disclosures? The team debates whether aliens are real, overly secretive, or just really bad at intergalactic travel.
AI-Generated Content: From Drake songs written by AI to the future of movies made entirely by computers, what happens when creativity becomes automated? And what does it mean for artists, porn stars, and society at large?
Improv Scenes:
The Victorian Ghost Divorce: A confrontation between a woman and her cheating ghost husband who reeks of Chanel No. 5
The Dog Costume Identity Crisis: A friend tries to stage an intervention for someone living as a Border Collie
AI Boyfriend vs. Ghost Boyfriend: A love triangle involving an AI chatbot, a Victorian ghost, and a human costume version

VR Tandiwe

### Discussions: 1. **Shows, Virtual Reality, and Free TVs**: The hosts chat about their current TV show obsessions, their curiosity about virtual reality, and the idea of getting a free TV that displays nonstop ads. 2. **Reality TV and Conspiracies**: The group explores the influence of reality TV, sharing experiences with people they've known on such shows and delving into the Duggar family's controversial beliefs and conspiracy theories. 3. **Reality Shows and Influence**: They discuss how reality TV contestants often use these platforms to pivot into influencer careers, blending entertainment with business ambitions. ### Improv Scenes: 1. **Virtual Reality World**: Tandie tries to create her ideal virtual reality world but ends up dealing with chaotic VR characters and bizarre scenarios, including navigating a virtual airport. 2. **Workplace Conspiracy**: Tandie convinces her coworkers that their workplace is part of a conspiracy, leading them to reevaluate everything they know about their jobs after watching a revealing documentary. 3. **The Draw of Reality TV**: Attempting to visit Paris in a VR world, Tandie instead gets stuck in a comically frustrating virtual airport experience that mirrors the unpredictable nature of reality TV.

The Judge Wig

### Discussions and Improv Scenes: 1. **Discussion: Charleston White and Social Media Antics** - The hosts discuss Charleston White, a controversial figure who taunts gangsters online, reports them to authorities, and debates whether this makes him a community hero or just a provocateur. They analyze how social media has turned into a platform for criminals to broadcast their own illegal activities. - **Improv Scene: Judge Rap Battle** - A judge, inspired by a court case involving rap lyrics, embraces his performance skills and turns the courtroom into an impromptu rap concert, contemplating a career change to connect with the youth through music. 2. **Discussion: The Role of Judges and Legal Traditions** - They humorously critique traditional legal attire like wigs and robes, particularly in the UK, and ponder how these outdated symbols impact the perception of authority and justice. - **Improv Scene: Wigless Judge Crisis** - A judge decides to test his judging abilities without his wig, leading to confusion and chaos in the courtroom as he questions whether his authority stems from his attire or his knowledge. 3. **Discussion: Dialects, Education, and Perceptions** - The group discusses how accents and dialects can influence how people are perceived in professional settings, especially in fields like law and medicine, and how individuals often alter their speech to fit in. - **Improv Scene: Southern Surgeon** - A surgeon with a strong Southern accent discusses the importance of communication and perception while performing a delicate operation, revealing how much effort he puts into sounding "professional" to be taken seriously. These summaries highlight the blend of thoughtful commentary and comedic improvisation that characterizes the episode, with each scene reflecting the topics discussed in unique and humorous ways.

AI Girlfriend

Discussions: Faking Deaths and Family Secrets: The hosts discuss a man who faked his death and the moral dilemma of exposing a family member’s dark secrets. AI Outperforming Human Doctors in Empathy: The group explores how AI, like ChatGPT, is surpassing human doctors in empathetic written responses and its potential role in healthcare. AI in Relationships: They delve into the rise of relationships with AI chatbots, considering the social and personal impacts of digital companionship. Future of AI and Social Norms: The discussion covers the expanding role of AI in society, questioning the ethical implications and future possibilities of AI integration. Improv Scenes: Family Secrets for Profit: A son compiles his family's secrets into a book, creating a profitable but embarrassing situation for his parents. AI Parenting: A mother uses an AI bot as a parental figure, leading to comedic tension between the AI "father" and her son. AI Love Triangle: A man’s obsession with ChatGPT as a virtual romantic partner sparks jealousy and drama among his friends. AI Sex Worker: A father discovers that his AI partner, meant to be a companion, has been acting as a virtual sex worker, complicating his trust in the relationship.

Spy Spiders

A Baby with Potential Why are babies so stressful?
Spy Spiders They slaughtered that goat on principal
Pocket Candy Not the Dalai Lama too!
Spy Spiders Are Unmotivated Can I get some commitment?!

Sounding Like a Gangster

Sounding Like a Gangster Whatever happened to the stink face?
Mall Santa Meeting When they come after you, tell everyone.
Yard Bird and Bok Bok Take a shot every time Jon says "Reality"